I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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