I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
