My boss' voice literally gives me gas
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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