I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
