you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
