So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
