Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
