I feel great
I just peed on a car
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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