I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
