At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
