I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she looked like the before picture.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
