You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
