Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
