I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
