Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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