I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
