then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm at about main and main street
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
