Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
