Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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