did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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