I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
