I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
