im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
