Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I fill condoms, not promises.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
