Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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