Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
