Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
As shirtless as possible
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need water and some morals
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
