The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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