He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
