new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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