well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
