dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
