My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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