I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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