i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
