This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
