you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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