so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
