I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
