I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
