yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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