at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
