Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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