just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
