Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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