Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
