I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
