just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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