Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
