She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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