i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
