Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize