Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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