Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
