that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
