Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize