dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
