I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
