he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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