Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
