There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
