i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
