this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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