sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
